


the things i miss

by Squaresas



Category: Grand Theft Auto V
Genre: M/M, bruh i don't know it's fluffy angst or something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24287755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squaresas/pseuds/Squaresas
Summary: Hangout after everything is over and deliberation of each other's feelings.
Relationships: Michael De Santa/Trevor Philips
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	the things i miss

It was cold on the side. Michael opened his eyes a bit to see that he was the only one in the shabby bed, sighed and lazily lift himself on the elbows. The so-called bedroom of Trevor’s trailer was empty, and he wondered if that was a good thing. It was awkward enough to ask to stay in here and ignore that look from the man. Or try and fail to ignore it.   
Really, he just wanted to be friends with him again. To not leave an obviously broken man alone, before he finished himself off for good, it was painful enough to see what he did to himself in the 9 year gap. They spent entire day hanging around Los Santos’ bars, with drunk Michael profusely apologizing for what he has done and Trevor light-heartedly waving it off, but having a genuine smile on his face, which Michael haven’t seen in a long, long time.   
It was enough for him to ask if it would be possible to move their party to the trailer. The road was long enough for him to sober up and start regretting it, but the feeling went away when he saw the sunset that covered everything with beautiful pink colors. It was weird how a place this ugly was able to change only thanks to this, even made him like it a bit back when he was stuck here. He turned to Trevor to say something about it, but all words got stuck in his throat. The sun vibrated with glowing colors inside the car, hiding man’s face in blue shadows and shining red just right to make him look almost handsome.   
\- Like what you see?   
Michael blinked, staring at the sleazy grin.  
\- Yeah. I think I do.  
\- Jesus, you’re still drunk or something? – he rolled his eyes, almost looking flustered (or so Michael imagined) - maybe I’ll throw you in a lake to sober up, usually works for me.  
\- I’ll throw you in a lake, dumbass.  
\- Please do, would give you some physical activity for a change.  
\- Fuck you, I do yoga every week.  
Trevor made weird sound, loosely resembling laughter.  
\- Yeah, that’s uh, not a thing you should brag about.   
\- It’s pretty good, maybe we should try it together sometime.   
\- Shoot me if I will ever want to do yoga.  
\- I’ll remember to do that. Hey, T, turn here.  
\- The trailer is the other way, cupcake.  
\- I know. I just… just turn here.  
He waited until their car arrived to the road beside Alamo-Sea, gestured to stop and slowly got out of the car, walking towards the water and wondering in the back of his mind how this shithole can amaze him sometimes.   
\- What, you decided to take me up on the offer of sobering you up? - cackled Trevor somewhere behind him.  
\- You don’t have to ask me if you really want to do it, - answered Michael in annoyed voice, - I just came here to look at the view.  
\- I know, right? Great fucking place to live by, nothing like your fancy-shmancy Cuntwood.  
He decided not to answer with some snarky remark and ruin the moment.   
Wasn’t quiet for a long while though.  
\- So, since when do you just stand around and look at things? – uncertainly asked him Trevor, shifting beside him.  
\- I don’t know. Since I got bored of this life. I used to have a boat to look at.  
\- A boat? Like, a yacht?  
\- Yeah.  
\- Mikey, how dare you to hide a yacht from me! – he comically threw his hands in the air, - a lady deserves to be invited on a sea cruise!  
Michael smirked, waving him away.  
\- You’re no lady, T. Not the sea cruising type at least. And I don’t have it anymore anyway, it was stolen long time ago.  
\- Really losing your edge, sugartits, - Trevor scoffed, - you’re the one who’s supposed to steal shit from people.  
\- Hey, wasn’t my fault, it was…  
\- Yeahyeahyeah, I don’t really care. The point is, you don’t have anything to swim in, so better brace yourself.  
\- The fuck do you…  
Michael didn’t had time to react to the man lifting him up, running to the lake and throwing in it, splashing it everywhere. He attempted to shove Trevor off, falling on his back and violently coughing out dirty water.  
\- YOU ASSHOLE! – he screamed, immediately getting even more water in his face and hearing happy laughter.  
\- You said I didn’t had to ask!  
\- Fuck you! Help me up, you idiot!  
Still laughing, Trevor reached out to him only to get yanked in the water as well. Now it was Michael’s turn to laugh, not even trying to get up anymore.  
\- Oh, real nice! That’s how you thank people for help! – the man posed dramatically, not really looking like he was bothered being in the water. Michael cackled, slapping him.  
\- You’re fucking loving it, don’t complain.  
\- A bit hard not to love seeing your pathetic wet ass over here.  
Laughter dying down, he suddenly moved in closer, embracing the other man. Water splashed around them, the sound soothing worry on the mind. Michael had a moment of hesitation before putting his hands by Trevor’s neck, absentmindedly tracing the swallow tattoo.  
\- Hey, - he poked it slightly, feeling the man flinch – what does this one mean? Something to do with flights?  
\- If you’re thinking this narrow-mindedly, sure, - mumbled Trevor, dragging thin hand over other man’s back, - nah, if we talk about actual meaning, it’s…  
His hand stopped. When silence went on for way too long, Michael moved away from the hug, putting a bit of force into tearing the other man from himself and squinted at the tattoo in better lighting.  
\- What? Is it something secret?  
\- Nah, - his hands fell into the water when Trevor suddenly got up with sour expression on the face, - whatever, I doubt you care about fucking meaning of any of these. Let’s go, you need to change.  
He lunged forward, jumping onto the feet and grabbing slim hand. Blue eyes met brown angry ones.  
\- I fucking care. Tell me.  
A moment passed. Atmosphere felt way too tense. Michael sighed, considering a fight over something this trivial and finally stepped back, spreading his hands in peaceful gesture.  
\- Okay, it’s fine. I do need to change, so…  
\- It signifies loyalty and love.  
He blinked, looking at blank expression on Trevor’s face, which quickly changed into a mischievous one.  
\- Whacha staring at? Come on, you’re too fragile to stand around like this.  
Letting out an awkward laugh, Michael allowed himself to be dragged away to the trailer, only now starting to feel that he’s freezing from wet shirt and shorts, unpleasantly clinging to his body. It still wasn’t enough to distract him from what he just heard, though.  
Walking into the dimly lit trailer, he almost jumped from realization.  
\- Wait, what the fuck will I change into?! Your clothes? I’m not wearing that!  
Trevor scoffed, marching to his half-broken excuse of a closet.  
\- Oh shut up, you sissy, you used to wear shit worse than mine, and what I have - Michael barely had time to evade pile of stuff thrown at him – certainly can’t be worse than your ‘classy drowner’ outfit, so find something in there already and get back to drinking with me, alright?  
\- Not alright, - he grumbled, fishing out relatively clean t-shirt and jeans out of the pile, - you know that it’s okay to wash your stuff at least once a month? And also yourself? Is that bathroom even needed in here?  
He heard scoff somewhere above him.  
\- I don’t have any reason to clean anything, not like anyone cares. Definitely not me.  
Michael lifted his head up, waving dark-blue shirt around on his finger.  
\- Well I do, so go and take a fucking shower, you neanderthal. Not a lot of fresh air in this place to cover you up. I also don’t feel like changing in front of you so, you know, just fuck off.  
\- Great, I don’t feel like seeing your fat ugly bod anyway, - he mockingly made a disgusted face as he strode off to the bathroom, slamming the door.  
\- Yeah right, you’re not as good at lying, - mumbled Michael, unwillingly smiling to himself and undoing buttons on the shirt.  
He walked up to the slightly shattered mirror in the bedroom and meticulously examined his reflection. It wasn’t that bad, albeit a bit tight, the shirt probably came from the Suburban, which wasn’t the kind of place Trevor usually visited but who the hell would dare to order the guy where he can buy his clothes.   
He probably could. Though for all the jokes about hipsters, he had to admit that Trevor looked great in those teenage-like shirts and chinos. He really has to remember to not say that out loud when he will be drunk. Worrying that his mind starts slipping in the wrong direction, Michael almost runned off to the kitchen, snatching half-empty whiskey bottle from the counter. It became boring to drink alone after a while, so he went to knock on the bathroom door.  
\- The fuck are you doing in there?  
Silence. He moved the hand to knock again when door slammed him in the face. He yelled, almost falling on the wall behind him.  
\- Goddamnit, you couldn’t warn me?!  
\- You have reflexes quick enough to dodge bullets but not the door? - lazily drawled Trevor, walking to the closet, completely naked as Michael realized the moment his vision cleared – how do you like my dirty, smelly shirt on you, huh, princess?  
\- Just amazing, I almost feel like true Blaine County citizen, - trying not to look, he walked up to the fridge, taking out a couple of beers, - do you even have anything to wash clothes or I will have to ride back wearing this tomorrow?  
\- Oh, right. Give me that - he snatched wet pile by the Michal sitting on the flimsy couch, and almost ran out of trailer.   
\- Ron! Get the fuck over here, you’re a laundryman today! - he heard quiet mumbling that was cut off by loud angry yell – you will wash these by the morning or so help me god I will pump you full of bleach and use your body as detergent!  
One scared yelp later, Trevor waltzed back into the trailer, happily throwing his hands up.  
\- Done!  
\- You don’t have to use your slaves for that, doesn’t feel right - he swung back the rest of the beer, noticing how Trevor changed into black shirt, which made it hard to see if it’s dirty or not.   
So he walked up to the man, and squinted at it, feeling the fabric.   
\- Uh, Mikey, the fuck are you doing?   
\- It’s clean, - he straightened up and folded his hands – so you do have something besides stained old stuff.  
\- Wow, thanks, fashion police, can you be even more condescending about everything I do?   
\- You do look good in it, - he smirked, holding out the other beer - now, do you want me to drink myself to death on my own or what?  
\- Oh ho ho, not on my watch, cupcake, - the man laughed out, grabbing the bottle and swiftly emptied it, throwing somewhere on the right - not that I wouldn’t want to see your drunk unconscious ass in my place…  
\- Jesus Christ, you’re almost fifty, don’t drink it like that - mumbled Michael, almost falling on the wall behind him, feeling like ground is slipping somewhere.   
\- Aaalrighty, you obviously had fun without me already, just sit right here, - chuckling, Trevor guided the unsteady friend to the couch, plopping him on it and walking to the kitchen counter, - man, this was the last whiskey bottle, you fucking drunkard.   
\- Big deal, I’ll get you all the booze you want at my place - he waved the bottle, almost dropping it on the floor, - whoops.  
\- Your place is ten hours away, Townley. I might take you up on the offer later though - grinned Trevor, dragging crate with beer closer to the couch and sitting beside him, - speaking of, you decided on the motel? Not that we have a lot of them here, but…  
\- What fucking motel? I’ll sleep here, - slurred Michael, dropping his head on friend’s shoulder, - wouldn’t be the first time, you know.  
It became uncomfortably silent, so he got his head up and looked at Trevor, who seemed to be staring at him with unreadable expression. Last remnants of sane logic prompted him that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to force himself in this house like that.  
\- Sorry, I didn’t… didn’t think this through.   
\- Eh, it’s fine - other man rubbed his neck, looking away and letting out an awkward laugh, - just uh, not everyday I find myself alone with you in my house and stuff, - he quickly got up, slightly staggering, - whatever, i’ll hang around somewhere or like, sleep on the couch, or…  
\- Can’t you be a fucking man and say it already? – mumbled Michael, suddenly feeling annoyed at obviousness of Trevor’s behavior and contradictory words.  
\- The fuck was that? – he fell back from the man suddenly moving to face him, piercing eyes staring straight in his.   
Somehow clearing his head from the haze and slight stab of fear, he stared back, pushing his hand onto Trevor’s chest.  
\- I said, - he punctuated with a forceful poke of the finger – why can’t you tell me that you don’t want to go anywhere – poke- and in fact – poke - want to fuck me on that shaggy bed of yours, you coward?  
The air became so heavy that it was probably possible to grab it. Michael felt danger of imminent death a lot of times in his life, and that was definitely the feeling. Dark eyes, burning through him, slim hands on either side of his head, rolling into fists with such fury that it was possible to hear them cracking.   
Or it was his last brain cell dying from cheap alcohol poisoning.  
When Trevor breathed out, his hands falling back on his side, it felt like ten sniper bullets flying by his head.   
\- You really don’t want to make this any easier for me, huh?   
He followed angrily pacing Trevor with hazy eyes. It was way too quick for him, so he grabbed the hand, covered in tattoos.  
\- Stop, I’ll throw up right here if you keep it up - he tugged the man towards himself – come here already…  
\- No! – Trevor jumped away from him, snatching his hand and slamming into the wall, - you… you’re a fucking idiot, you know that? A dense, selfish, fucking…  
\- And you’re a drama queen, - he laughed, knowing how thin of an ice he was treading right now but being way too drunk for that – since when do you care about… what is this about, by the way?  
\- I don’t know, about you having a wife? Or your supposed promise to not cheat on her, you pig? You think I have no morals about anything?  
\- You don’t, you have morals about me for some goddamn reason - he sighed, letting bottle to fall onto floor and attempted to get up, only to stumble on his own feet and fall.  
The pain from impact never came. Slowly, Michael opened his eyes to see a familiar shirt.  
\- Hey, there’s a spot here - he absentmindedly drawled out, trying to lift a hand to touch it but it felt like his whole body gave up completely.  
\- And you tell me not to drink, - chuckled Trevor, enfolding heavy body in his arms and carefully dragging him towards the bed, - come on now, and don’t even think about vomiting, I ain’t cleaning that shit up.  
He had a lot of snarky remarks in his head, but all he was able to produce were unintelligible sounds, so he had to allow the man to lie him down in the bed. But he couldn’t just let Trevor to walk away.  
\- Wait…  
\- Nononono, I’m not listening to any more of your drunk bullshit, just sleep It off, hon.  
\- Don’t fucking go, you asshole, - he managed to move to the edge of the bed, almost falling off, knowing that Trevor will go back to catch him.   
And so he did, pushing Michael back on and sighing, sat by his side.  
\- What? You don’t expect me to actually fuck you, right?  
\- No… yeah… whatever, just sleep with me…  
The man squinted with suspicion, pointing finger at him.  
\- Just sleeping. I know how your horny ass can get.  
\- You’re one to talk, you fucking pervert…  
Mockingly shaking his head, Trevor walked away somewhere. In a second, lights went off, drowning him in the viscous darkness. It felt like eternity before he felt the other man lie beside him.  
\- What the hell, do you even weigh anything? – mumbled Michael, reaching out to touch him, but got swatted away.  
\- I told you not to try anything, Townley.  
Scoffing, he turned around to face the wall, falling silent.   
But he could have swear that before he fell into even more enveloping darkness, it felt less cold.

He was hoping that trailer was empty and he’d be able to slip out somehow, but the sight in the kitchen made him stop dead in his tracks.  
Trevor was sitting on the counter, flipping through some notebook, sporting Michael’s washed clothes. It was obviously oversized on him, shirt sleeves hanging off the thin arms, shorts looking way too long for his legs.   
It reminded him way too much about image of a girl wearing her boyfriend’s stuff.  
He groaned seeing that Trevor was smoking crystal this whole time, flipping pipe in the other hand.  
\- Man, you’re stinking up my clothes with this shit!  
Lifting his eyes up from the notebook, Trevor smirked slyly, shifting into the slutty pose, that no woman Michael knew would ever be able to pull off with such grace.  
\- Am i? Maybe, - he held up collar to his face, breathing out into it, - I’m stinking it up with myself, how’s that?  
Michael rolled his eyes, trying to hide the feelings the image and words provoked in him.  
\- Well apparently you and heavy drugs smell the same, so I’ll have to wash these for a week straight, thank you.  
\- I’ll cover myself in whiskey next time, seems to be more of your thing.  
\- Will you blueball me as well the next time?  
He inhaled sharply, expecting to be hit in the face, but if Trevor was upset, he made a good job of hiding it, merely shrugging and putting notebook aside.  
\- Most likely. Unless you plan a divorce or romantic runaway with me.  
Michael fell onto the couch, struggling not to scream.  
\- Why? – he said finally – we both know how we feel about each other and it’s pretty damn hard to ignore or, or, forget, so why the hell are you playing with me like this?  
Trevor let out an evil laugh, triumphantly flipping him off and inhaling more from the pipe.  
\- Oh, doesn’t feel that good when it’s done to you, does it? Now I just need to keep this up for ten more years and we’re even.  
\- Oh fuck you.  
\- You wish.  
\- Give me my damn clothes back, - gloomily muttered Michael, looking for anything that wasn’t alcohol in the fridge.  
\- I can say the same thing to you, Townley.   
Throwing dark stare at the man, Michael took a swig of cold milk, shivering from sudden chill.  
\- Fuck me, i forgot how freezing it’s in the morning over here.  
Chuckling, Trevor, jumped off the counter, taking the shirt off and handing it to Michael.  
\- Here, princess, pretty sure it’s time to take you home.  
\- Is it? - he sighed, suddenly feeling empty, - I’m not a fan of this place, but right now I don’t really feel like coming back to that world.  
\- Well you can’t avoid it for long, Townley.  
Smiling with sadness, he nodded, getting the shirt on.  
\- I know. It’s… It’s probably a lot for our first reunion meeting as it is. Whatever, let’s go, not like we’re meeting for the last time. I hope.  
Trevor barked out a laugh.  
\- You think it’s that easy to get rid of me? Nooo, Townley, you have years and years ahead for me to torture you, I’ll haunt you as a fucking ghost if I’ll have to.  
\- Yeah, i bet you can’t wait to die and do that, but… - he kept hesitating, wondering if he should just drop the subject, or…  
\- Oh lord, you’ll spend an entire day in here unless I give you something, won’t you?  
There was plenty of time to react, but he didn’t. Chapped lips were on his, hands entwining around him, bringing their bodies closer. He shuddered when a tongue sneaked its way in, feeling like the whole world was by his feet…  
And then forceful push sent Michael out the door, stumbling onto the railing. Flustered, he looked at smug Trevor, standing in the doorway.  
\- Now are you ready to go back?  
Exhaling, he let out a relieved laugh.  
\- Yeah. I’m ready.

**Author's Note:**

> This game was special for me ever since i played it back in 2013 and after recent replay i wrote this small thing in autumn. Since more people might come into the fandom now, might be a time to revive the fandom a bit so here's a bit of contrubition. Thank you for reading.


End file.
